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Eavesdrop DC

Hear something funny? Email it to eavesdropdc@gmail.com

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Those needles are deadly.

September 13th, 2012 · Hill

“Bro- are you knitting behind my back?”

Overheard walking past a house in an alley on Capital Hill

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Sign me up for their frequent flyer program!

September 11th, 2012 · Uncategorized

After takeoff from Dulles Airport

Flight Attendant: We’ll begin the beverage service in a few moments once we’ve reached our cruising altitude. We offer a variety of sodas, and beer and wine are $5. Southwest Airlines is now completely topless, and we except only VISA and Mastercard.

After a few moments.

Flight Attendent: Oh my…I meant cashless…

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I hear they have it on computers now.

March 1st, 2012 · Uncategorized

Overheard, downtown DC (Penn Quarter), business attire: “Do you have the… the…” (searching for exactly the right word) “internet?”

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And maybe get me a face shield?

October 28th, 2011 · Uncategorized

“Did she tell you how hard it was going to hit you in the face? 68 miles per hour. Do you need me to draft up a legal waiver?”

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Boom! Pow! Smack! Face Sweat!

October 24th, 2011 · Uncategorized

Guy in costume store wearing a Batman mask:

“Man this is hot, I don’t know how Batman does it all the time.”

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Burr-ned

October 19th, 2011 · Uncategorized

Overheard in rush-hour traffic through an open window as we crawled south on North Washington Street, Alexandria: “NO! It’s AARON Burr, not Raymond Burr! Jee-zus!…”

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I’m willing you my self respect.

October 4th, 2011 · Adams Morgan

“You promised your mom on her deathbed you wouldn’t cheat on me.”

–Adams Morgan

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It is true.

September 7th, 2011 · Uncategorized

“Stupid things are happening all the time! Why aren’t you posting about them?”
–Overheard in my office by someone complaining that I haven’t posted in awhile.

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Lacrosse – now with more racism.

July 18th, 2011 · Dumb chicks

Girl in Pentagon City talking to friends:

“I watched lacrosse for the first time the other day. I don’t get it. They just run around and hit each other with sticks. It’s like Rodney King.”

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The Smithsonian is the People’s Museum

July 14th, 2011 · Smithsonian

In the Earth, Moon, Meteorites section of National Museum of Natural History: Man resting arm on a large meteorite to wife, in complete deadpan: “Honey, can you smell what the rock is cookin’?”

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