Crew Archives

I've long had a section where I embarrassed my friends by publishing their humorous quotes, and after all these years, they haven't got any less funny!
Victim #1 - Annie - she's the greatest girl in the world, but god bless her, the dumbest stuff ever said has come out of her mouth! (working on getting a hot picture!)
  • "I thought Lily was going to school in Connecticut?
    "She is, UConn."
    "Isn't that in Canada?"
  • "I can never be mad at trail mix."
  • "Seven years, Dwain, seven years."
  • Annie: What does that sign up there say?
    Me: STOP.
  • "Everything good comes from pigs."
  • "Do you need me to come over and give you a study break?"

 

  

 

  • "If you don't remember it it doesn't count."
  • "My goal is to remember the walk home."
  • "Hey, when I get stir crazy I just go to my outside ... I have a big outside."
  • "I am actually pretty good at Monopoly when we play it my way, you know without houses, hotels, and the whole buying a bunch of properties."
  • "You mean Run DMC is black? Why didn't you tell me?"
  • Jess: Wait a second, Nelson Mandela is black?
    Annie: Yeah, Run DMC too. Who'da thunk it?

 

Victim #2 - Michael Aker  ----->>>>>

"Let me pull my shriveled thing out of my pocket..."

"(imitating Brother Stephen) Mohammed was a mmuuuuurrrrrdeeerrrrrr!!!!! He killed for AAAALLLLLLLAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Well you just do you what you can and hope for the best. Give 110% and hope everything works out....(more senseless babbling continues...)"

"The Jews didn't screw Jesus, Jesus screwed Jesus (Ahh those theological chats over rum and cokes....)"

"Vince isn't a genius, but Lanny Poffo is."

Victim #3 - Jesse Demastrie

"Man, I wish 7-11 delivered."

"Why can't I be handicapped?" (He wanted a walking stick)

"Dude, if I was a Hindu, Joelle could sell me hamburgers."
Some other oldie-but-goodies:
  • Staubinator: Man, that's hotter than lobster testicles
  • The Staubinator - Do you smell what the stock is cooking?
  • Big Lou: What's up megasluts? Hows slutsville? I can't believe you said that!
  • Maggie: I got you a drool cup.
  • The Staubinator: Oh, I'm not really a shoe salesman. But I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.
  • Todd: Man now I see why postal workers go postal. I am thinking of going shoe-al. Or is it shoe-stal?
  • Jesus: Lifetime: television for women and Jesus.

  • Dan: Dwain?
    Dwain: Yes Dan?
    Dan: Get the beer!!!!!!
  • Joelle: Oh my god, you live with John Cougar Melloncamp.
  • Joelle: Don't hate the player.. hate the game.
  • J.S. Gill: We were just in the bathroom reading Moby Dick.
  • James: Remember Lily, bros come before hos.
  • Rocco: Hey what about 'so and so' band? I hear they sell out like the infectious grooves.