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"This War on Terrorism is gonna rule! I can't wait until the war is over and there's no more terrorism! I know! Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War on Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore? It'll be just like that!" - Get Your War On "And what's my motto? I like ham!" The Pirate Captain "Numa Numa" O-Zone. "I hope I never meet that guy. I would have to punch that guy in the face." Annie, on the Numa Numa Guy. "Is that Polynesian?" Annie, still on the Numa Numa Guy. "You're part of something bigger now. It's like being swallowed whole - by something bigger than you of course," Anya "I would love to see a debate show... that would be great. To do a debate would be great. But that's like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition." Jon Stewart on CNN's Crossfire "And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now. Eight Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired." - Office Space "Q: What's the craziest thing you've ever seen? Kingpin: A grown man dressed as a spider. Spider-Man: The mafia. Kingpin: Touché." "I see you're drinking 1% milk. Is that because you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could probably be drinking whole milk." - Napoleon Dynamite "You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring." - Homer J. Simpson "You know, some people think that dandelions are weeds, but, you know, I always think, who the hell decided tulips were so great?" - Peter Griffin "I'd like you to get our conversation down in black and white." "It's not possible," I answered. "I'm not a typist, not a writer. I'm a penguin. As far as I'm concerned, 'getting it down in black and white' means making more penguins." So instead, there I was a month later, standing still with an egg under my belly, remembering... I was the one who had brought up the subject. - Boffa "Drinking light beer is like an inefficient way of consuming water." - Father Tom
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